He can damn well mix his own martinis

This is a story from William Ury’s Getting Past No, which I am reading for the Future of Conflict project.

It’s about dividing a negotiation into bite-sized pieces to make it more palatable to the other side.

The story doesn’t strike me as relevant to the point, but is a hilarious window into culture.

It’s about a British diplomat who wanted to give some “supplies” to a British vice-consul being held prisoner by the Nazis (1944). He goes to the prison and:

He [the prison director] had the British vice-consul brought from his cell, and one by one I handed over the items: pyjamas, shirts, socks, and a toilet kit….

I then produced a bottle of sherry, explaining that the vice-consul should have it served before his luncheon. The director said nothing, but took the bottle submissively.

Next I produced a bottle of champagne which, I said, should be properly iced with the vice-consul’s dinner. The director shifted uneasily but remained silent.

Next came a bottle of gin, another of vermouth, and a cocktail shaker.
This, I explained, was for the vice-consul’s evening martini. “Now, you take one part of vermouth,” I began, turning to the director, “and four parts of gin, add plenty of ice-” But I had reached the end of my tiny steps.

“Verdammt!” the director exploded.

“I am willing to serve sherry and champagne and even gin to this prisoner, but he can damn well mix his own martinis.”