Hello Friends,
🦸♀️🦸🏾🦸🏼♂️🦸🏽♀️🦸🏿🦸🏽♂️
A few years ago my a my friend Scott sent out the following text:
-> “I’m getting a new fridge for the farmstand. It’s a monster. Can anybody show up at [Place] at [Time] to help me move it?”
He must have sent it to at least 15 people, because at least 15 people of all shapes and sizes showed up.
And like the best construction projects, at least half of us were just watching and offering bad advice.
I guarantee you not a single one of those people has forgotten that moment, when we all took over an hour out of our busy days to help move a fridge.
So when is asking for a favor a pain in the ass and when is it an incredible community-building opportunity?
Well…
🙋🏻♀️ Is the favor “for” somebody or “with” them?
🙋🏽 Is it computer work, done remotely, or does it require togetherness?
🙋🏾♂️Is it going to take time from people I love or put me in touch with them?
🙋🏼♀️How long am I going to feel a sense of accomplishment after the fact?
Most successful professionals get asked for a lot of favors every day.
But how many of those force you to see people you love?
Here’s the long-term effect of Scott’s favor:
(which I’m guessing he didn’t really think about… he just needed to move that fridge)
It strengthened our commitment to Scott (and his farm).
It further bonded every person who showed up.
I feel like “I built this city” every time I go to his farmstand.
I probably go to his farmstand more because I like that feeling.
I don’t remember anything else that happened on fridge-moving day. It’s highly likely moving that fridge (which I barely touched) was the most meaningful thing I did that entire day. And that’s probably true for everybody else who showed up.
This doesn’t mean I won’t help Scott (or my other friends) with spreadsheet questions. But I’m going to have a way better time if we do it on my front porch while drinking a beer (or cocktail 😉) and petting his dog than if I squeeze it in between 2 coaching calls.
Key Takeaway: In our lonely-ass atomized society, many people hate asking for help. But asking for favors builds community when it gives everybody what they need. And when it does that, it’s not going to matter how busy they are.
Yours,
Ank
Ankur Shah Delight: Community and Conflict 